Tag: facebook

Boundaries of Information

                 In order to know what was going in other people’s lives you used to have to write them, call them or see them in person. Or hear about them from mutual friends. Information or the details of a person and their lives could only be gleaned through intentional activity. This also cuts off a lot of people. Everyone only has a limited number of hours in the week, and have to choose (or not choose) who to keep up with.

                Now because of social media you can keep up with as many people as you want with no effort and no contact. You can read Tweets and status updates about friends from all over without ever having to actually contact them. You can absorb information about others without actually knowing them.

                I find that this trains people to build more shallow relationships, as well as losing focus on how we do need to spend more time with some people than others. There are some people that do need more of our time and attention. We also must keep in mind that knowing things about others is not the same as relating with them. So my challenge to you, is call five people you know you normally wouldn’t this week, and say hi.

 

The Facebook Connection

                The Facebook Connection

                At one point, when I used Facebook I sent several dozen messages to friends at the end of a college semester encouraging them to stay strong. I also used it to keep in contact with friends that were far away. It worked like an email and I was able to encourage others while keeping up with them. However it has taken a turn. I find that most of the time when I send messages, there is either no response or a delayed one.

I don’t believe it is because anyone is ignoring me, or that they don’t like me. I find it to be because of the distraction of our current generation and the ADD. If the message is too long, or the response requires too much thought and time it takes second place to whatever else is going on. Then the business of life and the internet take over, and the relationships that are seeking real life interaction take second place to the thrill of online connection.

The thing about online conversations and connections is that the inhibitions of the brain do not kick in. People in general will release more information because  when you don’t see another person, you are not as worried about someone else thinking poorly of you etc. This is more prominent in chat conversations where it is quick and less thinking is involved. Even reading wall posts help people feel more connected with others when we read information. Furthermore the culture of the new and instant takes over, long messages are not nearly as important as the quick new details of other people.

                Also, people develop a habit of going to Facebook when they want to connect or fill a gap of loneliness. I was going into that habit to. So I got rid of mine. I have only had it active for about three days in the past two to three weeks, and I am thrilled. Whenever I want to connect with someone, or feel lonely, I call a friend. I arrange a real in person hang out and go do something. I am less distracted about wondering what is going on in people’s lives who I don’t see often and focus on the people I have a direct influence on.

                I am not saying Facebook is bad. I know many people who redeem it with encouragement and joy. However, I find that most people would be greatly benefited from having a Facebook fast. Don’t waste time on the internet, and invest it on others.

                This also means that I am trying to build this blog without Facebook, so please, tell your friends. Also, if you are redeeming Facebook, and you like anything that I have to say, recommend me. It helps.