Tag Archives: smile

How to Fight Brokenness, Do Good

The world hurts. All around I see things that are broken, divorces, yelling matches, ongoing jaded arguments, affairs, violence, controlling behavior, bigotry etc. I see things that are not necessarily broken but just ugly, a mean word, negative assumptions, miscommunication, obsession, unhealthy habits, pushing work on to others and more. It all comes down to relationships. Broken and ugly relationships between family members, among friends, students and teachers, politicians and their constituents.

I know friends struggling with a divorce, another an eating disorder, another that feels lonely and neglected, another wasting their life on a career they don’t love. People matter a great deal to me and all of these hurts and pain can be overwhelming. I immaturely can default to just keeping busy in my own world to distract from everything I see. Not only those people I know personally but the eyes and weary faces of those at the grocery store can weigh on my heart.

Even more so I am burdened when it is through my hand that the ugliness comes. From obvious things like saying unkind things to those that are close, being mean to my mother, failing to respect boundaries, or most recently the subtlety of planning to be able to deal with a bad marriage rather than working towards being ready for a great one.

That last one, that subtle move from focusing on negative to positive is very helpful. In a world with the media spewing all of the things gone wrong with the world from violence, to political systems, to laws, child kidnappings, sex trade, etc. Where can we even begin? What really helps? There are those that have a voice and an audience with several million views. Me? I had seven views of my blog yesterday. Mostly from Canada. Where I am pretty sure even thieves say they are sorry.

Do good. Do right. Have compassion. When someone is posting inflammatory language on Facebook, siding with one person or another, listen to their heart. They are probably hurting. Coming back with the other extreme probably won’t help. Even if kind words won’t change their view, they will contribute to beauty in the world and not an ugly argument.

Do good for the world in front of you. You may be able to go out and serve at a homeless shelter or spend hours a week mentoring children at risk. But if you don’t, then simply do good to all of those around you and what touches your heart. Do at risk youth touch your heart? Then play with kids you know. Share words of advice. Encourage them and tell them nice things. Share stories of your life that teach a lesson.

Do divorces pain your heart? Then listen to those struggling in their marriage. Have compassion on the divorced, and do good in your own relationships. Listen, understand, communicate, encourage, write letters, leave notes for others, especially a significant other. Kindly speak up when you see ugly behavior in others that are single or taken.

For me, most of all, I just feel for those that are sad, stressed, burdened or confused. So, I smile. I smile in public, I smile at the gym. I may not change their life, but for a moment I share something meaningful. I am trying to add being as encouraging and uplifting as possible. I believe in the potential of all my friends whether they see it or not. I want to remind them of who they are, because we all forget who we are at times.

The best way to combat wrong is to do right. Actively. That may be actively targeting a specific wrong, or it may just be doing the right thing in your own life. Spread beauty.

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Redeeming Black Friday

Redeeming Black Friday

                Black Friday does ruin the classic ideal of Thanksgiving being a nice meal with friends and family for those that begin lining up at stores at 5pm on Thursday evening. However, I do not want to give the impression that those who do such things are horrible stuff focused people. Besides many people, including one of my cousins, love the rush of trying to find the deals. It is their “sporting” hunt. Rather than shooting birds, they try and nab the deals. So for the shopping lovers, here are a few tips on how to redeem the shopping holiday.

                First, when you are out shopping smile and say hi to others. It is amazing how something as simple as a smile and “hello, how are you doing?” can change a random persons day for the better. You can even step it up by asking, “who are you buying for?” and following that up with, “what do you think they will think of the gift?”

                Second, be thankful. Thanksgiving is about being thankful. It used to be thankful for not dying and having food. Now we can be thankful that we do get to buy stuff. You should remember that there are people who are less fortunate than you and donate to Operation Christmas child or some other holiday giving, like buying a goat for a village through World Vision. But, you should also be thankful for the stuff that you do have. Denying the blessings that you have received is not the best way to remember or help those who don’t have the same blessings. Enjoying them is.

                Third, have fun with the process of thinking of others and buying them gifts. Get creative. Think of ways of gifts that will make memories.

                Finally, while you are in the checkout line standing in line after line, think of funny stories to tell or memories from seasons past. Sharing stories is one of the most powerful forms of connection and hope (if you tell it well). Be vulnerable, give it a try.