Listening can be very difficult. Not that there is any difficulty in actually hearing things, but in actually understanding. I am sorry to say that today I am rather un imaginative, so I hope that this is not to boring. But I see listening as taking on several parts, and all of these are realizations that I have had in the last few days.
I need to practice listening with my ears, as well as my eyes and body. Not only do I need to engage them with my whole person, posture and eye contact, but I also need to watch what they are communicating non verbally. I might miss something important.
I need to be comfortable with the relationship. If I am worried about losing a friend, or already concerned that the other person doesn’t like me, I start to think up many things that are not even a part of the conversation. Do they really mean what they say? Are they holding something back? Am I good enough?
Along with that, I need to be comfortable enough with myself that if they are wrong about something, that I am willing to let that go as I am listening. When I start to argue with them, in my own head, and defend myself, I stopped listening and starting fighting for what is mine.
I want to be the person who is a servant to others, who is willing to let what he wants go in order to be there for someone else.
It is only just recently that I realized, that in any good relationship there needs to be the security that even if something is wrong, (since we are human there always will be) we are confident in the character of the other person and the relationship itself. Trust truly is the foundation of any good relationship.